Evergreens Fundraiser Tree

This is the final product of the tree which the Layton Chapter of Families Supporting Adoption recently donated to the Evergreens Fundraiser:

Our tree was trimmed with multi-colored blocks displaying adoption-related words, such as hope, patience, love, journey, tender mercies, and happiness.

The different colored handprints are the actual handprints of adopted children in our chapter!

The bottom of the tree was accesorized with some fun things as well, including various toys and the adoption-related book Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born.

Thank You to everyone who generously donated their time and materials to such a good cause in our community while helping to celebrate adoption!

2011 Adoption Walk With Me

Chat Night with Kerstin Daynes

Evergreens Fundraiser- Help Needed!

This year as an FSA Board we have been working hard to increase adoption awareness in our community.  As part of our efforts we have decided to participate in the Evergreens Fundraiser, which is similar to the Festival of Trees, but on a smaller level.  Our chapter is going to donate a decorated tree to be auctioned off at their yearly Christmas Tree Auction and Fundraiser with all proceeds going towards Safe Harbor Crisis Center, a shelter in our community for victims of domestic violence.

More information about the fundraiser can be found at their website: http://www.evergreensfundraiser.org/register.html.

We are excited to do this!  The theme for our tree is "Tell Me Your Story" based on children's adoption books.

The vision of the tree is cut up pages of the books, framed and made into ornaments, as well as handprints of adopted children.  The main colors are burgundy, green, creamy white, yellow, and blue.

We are asking any of you that are able to donate items or your time to please help us in this project as it is a big undertaking!

Here are the list of items we need:

-Vinyl

-Wood Blocks

-Clear, Glass ornaments

-Ribbon

-Wire

-Children's Adoption books

-Wooden ABC Blocks

-Kid's Toys

-Other toys: rag dolls, trains, airplanes

-A Rocking Chair

-An Angel Tree Topper

-Tree Skirt or Fabric to make a tree skirt

-Extension Cord

We are planning a FAMILY NIGHT ACTIVITY to collect and assemble crafts for the tree on MONDAY, OCTOBER 24th at 7 pm at the Church on 3161 W 150 N in Layton.

Our activities committee has some fun Halloween activities planned for the night as well and children are welcome to wear their costumes if they want.

If you are interested in helping please contact us at laytonfsa@gmail.com.

We appreciate all efforts to help!

Sincerely,

                Layton Families Supporting Adoption Board

UAC Boondocks Celebration 2011

Waiting Upon the Lord

If there is one thing that adoptive families and those who are going through the adoption process are familiar with it is WAITING. At times waiting can be discouraging- especially when one’s righteous desires and pleas to the Lord seem to go unnoticed.

The following excerpts are taken from the most recent General Conference and address the topics of waiting on the Lord, receiving answers to prayers, and obtaining blessings promised by God, particularly parenthood.

From Elder Robert D. Hales Waiting Upon the Lord: Thy Will Be Done:

. . . The purpose of our life on earth is to grow, develop, and be strengthened through our own experiences. How do we do this? The scriptures give us an answer in one simple phrase: we “wait upon the Lord.”¹² Tests and trials are given to all of us. These mortal challenges allow us and our Heavenly Father to see whether we will exercise our agency to follow His Son. He already knows, and we have the opportunity to learn, that no matter how difficult our circumstances, “all these things shall [be for our] experience, and … [our] good.”¹³

What, then, does it mean to wait upon the Lord? In the scriptures, the word wait means to hope, to anticipate, and to trust. To hope and trust in the Lord requires faith, patience, humility, meekness, long-suffering, keeping the commandments, and enduring to the end.

To wait upon the Lord means planting the seed of faith and nourishing it “with great diligence, and … patience.”¹⁷

It means praying as the Savior did—to God, our Heavenly Father—saying: “Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done.”¹⁸ It is a prayer we offer with our whole souls in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Waiting upon the Lord means pondering in our hearts and “receiv[ing] the Holy Ghost” so that we can know “all things what [we] should do.”¹⁹

As we follow the promptings of the Spirit, we discover that “tribulation worketh patience”²⁰ and we learn to “continue in patience until [we] are perfected.”²¹ 

We may not know when or how the Lord’s answers will be given, but in His time and His way, I testify, His answers will come. For some answers we may have to wait until the hereafter. This may be true for some promises in our patriarchal blessings and for some blessings for family members. Let us not give up on the Lord. His blessings are eternal, not temporary.

He hears your prayers. His peace and rest will be yours as you continue to wait upon Him in faith.

From Barbara Thompson’s Personal Revelation and Testimony:

The way to receive personal revelation is really quite clear. We need to desire to receive revelation, we must not harden our hearts, and then we need to ask in faith, truly believe that we will receive an answer, and then diligently keep the commandments of God.

Following this pattern does not mean that every time we ask a question of God, the answer will immediately appear with every detail of what to do. However, it does mean that if we diligently keep the commandments and ask in faith, answers will come in the Lord’s own way and in His time.

From Neil L. Anderson’s Children:

The bearing of children can also be a heartbreaking subject for righteous couples who marry and find that they are unable to have the children they so anxiously anticipated or for a husband and wife who plan on having a large family but are blessed with a smaller family.

We cannot always explain the difficulties of our mortality. Sometimes life seems very unfair—especially when our greatest desire is to do exactly what the Lord has commanded. As the Lord’s servant, I assure you that this promise is certain: “Faithful members whose circumstances do not allow them to receive the blessings of eternal marriage and parenthood in this life will receive all promised blessings in the eternities, [as] they keep the covenants they have made with God.”¹⁷

Utah Infertility Awareness Fall Event

This is a FREE Event!  Seating is Limited; Click HERE to register. 

2011 Family Barbecue

Thanks to our wonderful Activities Committee and all who helped out, our recent Family Barbecue was a success!

Click HERE to see a slideshow of pictures.

Click to Enlarge

Family Barbecue

Clarksons- Parents in a Day

Win A Pair of National Conference Tickets!

Click HERE to enter to win a pair of Conference Tickets to the upcoming Families Supporting Adoption National Conference (an $80 Value)!

Transracial Adoption Playgroup

If transracial adoption has helped build your family you are invited to a weekly playgroup.  Wednesdays at 10AM.  If rainy we meet at the play area in Layton Hills Mall.  If sunny we meet at the playground in Layton Commons Park. 

Hope to see you there!

2011 FSA Conference- Registration Open!

“ROOTED IN LOVE"

2011 NATIONAL CONFERENCE

WHEN: August 12-13th

8 a.m.- 5 p.m.

Banquet, August 12th, 5:30 p.m.

WHERE: Davis Conference Center

1651 North 700 West, Layton, Utah

COST: $40.00 per individual (EACH ATTENDEE MUST REGISTER INDIVIDUALLY)  Cost will increase to $45 after July 15th

QUESTIONS:  Peggy Shepherd, 801-240-6052

shepherdpl@ldsfamilyservices.org

REGISTRATION:

www.regonline.com/familiessupportingadoption  

LODGING INFORMATION:

http://www.hiltongardeninn.com/en/gi/hotels/index.jhtml?ctyhocn=SLCLAGI

Group Code:  LDSFAMILY

KEYNOTE SPEAKERS Julie B. Beck, Relief Society General President Friday, August 12, 9 a.m. Julie Bangerter Beck served on the Young Women general board and as first counselor in the Young Women general presidency. She currently serves as the Relief Society general president. As part of her responsibilities, she is a member of the Church Board of Education and the Boards of Trustees for Church schools and universities, and she is on the executive and general councils for Church welfare and the Perpetual Education Fund. She is the mother of three children and is the grandmother of 14.  Dr. Karyn Purvis Saturday, August 13, 9 a.m.  Dr. Karyn Purvis has spent the past ten years developing research-based interventions for at-risk children. She is the coauthor of the 2007 book The Connected Child: Bringing Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family, and her projects have been featured on Dateline NBC and in Newsweek, Parents Magazine, and other popular magazines. Dr. Purvis is a former foster mother and speaks frequently to national and international groups.           Special Guest Charles "Chuck" Johnson August 12, 5:30 (Banquet) Chuck Johnson is president and CEO of the National Council For Adoption (NCFA) and director of the Infant Adoption Awareness Training Initiative. He is the primary editor of NCFA’s Consider the Possibilities curriculum and of the Adoption Advocate, a monthly publication of NCFA. He is also the project manager and editor/writer of the Intercountry Adoption Journey: Hague-Compliant Training from NCFA. He is a father by adoption.

Celebrating Adoption Walk

Click Image to Enlarge

Eric and Heather's Adoption Journey- Part Six

Eric and Heather are a prospective adoptive couple who are sharing their experiences in a series of guest posts about what it’s like to go through the adoption process with LDS Family Services. Eric and Heather hope that by sharing their experiences others will feel the same peace and support they have received and gain a better understanding of how the adoption process works.

Click on the following to read their previous posts:

Eric and Heather’s Adoption Journey- Part One

Eric and Heather's Adoption Journey- Part Two

Eric and Heather's Adoption Journey- Part Three

Eric and Heather's Adoption Journey- Part Four

Eric and Heather's Adoption Journey- Part Five

Part Six: Home Study and Approval

Home Study

Not long after we attended the adoption education class it was time for our home study.  Our caseworker, Judy, gave us a short list of items that she would need to check and that we should have ready before she comes. Her list was pretty basic, and covered items like a fire extinguisher and some wall plugs for the electrical outlets.  She told us that we didn’t necessarily need to have everything right away but her visit provided us with ideas and improvements that we would need to make before a baby is placed with us.

When Judy and Sydney arrived we spent some time going over our profile and then we showed them around our home. Judy checked for items such as covers for our window wells, wall plugs, firearms being safely stored separate from ammunition, and a gate for our stairs.  The actual inspection took only a few minutes and then we were able to spend some time getting to know each other even better. In the end, Judy left us with a few suggestions, such as moving nail polish up a drawer to avoid children getting into it, moving our medicine up higher, etc.   We had anticipated that she would want to see the house clean, but true to her word she never pulled out a white glove.

Approval

A few weeks from the time Judy and Sydney came to our home for the study, we received an email from Judy informing us we had been approved and that our profile was up on the website.  I was so excited; I didn’t even finish reading her e-mail before pulling it up and calling Eric, my mom and a few other people.  We received the letter in the mail a short time after and it has been posted on our fridge ever since.  Words cannot express how thrilled we are to have completed the process thus far and to have the realization that we could have our sweet baby in our arms sometime soon. 

Talking to your child About Adoption

The following information was compiled by Angie Rhodes using sources such as Adoptive Families Magazine, Raising Adopted Children, Talking with Young Children About Adoption, Making Sense of Adoption, and Real Parents Real Children: Parenting the Adopted Child.

Talking to your Child About Adoption

WHY?

1. To answer your child’s questions.
2. To help your child understand what it means to be adopted. They can’t move forward into the future unless they have a grasp of what happened in the past.
3. To prepare your child for talking to/answering questions from other people about adoption.
4. To communicate a willingness to talk about it. To establish an environment of openness instead of secrecy.
5. To avoid “fantasy” – both good and bad.

1. Fantasize that birthparents are celebrities
2. Worry that birthparents didn’t want them because they were bad or cried too much.

6. To give the child a positive sense of self.

1. Positive sense of self gives comfort and confidence with adoption.
2. “A child is influenced by adoptive family and birth family – and by his or her perception of his/her adoptive family and birth family.

HOW?

1. With the right attitude/demeanor. If adoption conversations are approached in a nurturing way, your child will trust and feel safe talking about it with you.

1. Approachable
2. Comfortable (if you are uncomfortable, discussions may be awkward or avoided. If children detect unease in discussing adoption, they may conclude that something is wrong with them.
3. Non-defensive, non-threatened by questions.
4. Keep things casual. Adoption conversations don’t have to be serious, sit-down, heavy talks.

2. With the right tone of voice.

1. A hushed tone can convey shame or secrecy.
2. An elevated tone can convey anxiety or distress.

WHEN?

1. From the beginning.

1. The earliest years are good practice for when your child understands more, and you can get comfortable talking about it. Adoption language will become part of your lexicon.
2. It won’t be an emotionally laden revelation for the child to learn later.

2. Often enough that your child knows it isn’t a taboo topic.
3. Often enough that you are addressing changes in understanding and emotions throughout different developmental stages.
4. Not so often that s/he feels set apart by his/her “adoptedness.” Talking excessively can leave a child feeling that there is something wrong with being adopted, or that adoption is the most important part of his/her identity.
5. When it is relevant. At some times in a child’s life, that is going to be frequent and sometimes it’s going to be infrequent.
6. When it is appropriate. Utilize boundaries of privacy when talking about adoption with strangers or acquaintances. Sometimes we get a bit eager and overzealous when it comes to adoption and divulge too much. Learn to speak in generalities.
7. Follow your child’s lead. (This does NOT mean you have to wait for your child to bring it up!)

1. Be available and willing to talk about it when they want to.
2. Don’t push the subject when they don’t want to talk about it.

8. Take advantage of opportunities as they arise.

1. When other people are pregnant/have a baby/adopt a baby
2. When you adopt again

WHAT?

1. Tell the truth.
2. Use the gospel, your testimony of your child’s adoption.

1. "Never forget that these little ones are the sons and daughters of God and that yours is a custodial relationship to them, that He was a parent before you were parents and that He has not relinquished His parental rights or interest in these His little ones. Now, love them, take care of them." President Gordon B. Hinckley
2. Heavenly Father is aware of them as individuals, and made sure they ended up where they were supposed to be.
3. Personal spiritual experiences that told you your child was meant to be in your family.

3. Remain positive about birth family, and empathetic towards any negative facts there might be.
4. Explain that adoption is an adult decision. Be careful with the “love” explanation. You love him. Are you going to place him with a new family?
5. It’s okay to say, “I don’t know.”
6. It’s okay to postulate – use likelihoods.

1. “We’re not sure what your birthfather looked like. But since your birthmother is fair, he probably has dark hair like you do.”
2. “You have such natural talent for music. I wonder if your birth mother is musical, too.”

7. Acknowledge birth parents, not just ethnic or cultural heritage to avoid ideas of “hatching.”
8. Utilize communication from or open relationship with birth parents.
9. Tell the child’s story – lifebook.
10. Use adoption books, either as a springboard for discussion with your child or as an example to you of things you can say.
11. In developmentally appropriate layers.

1. Conversations will be repeated often throughout the years. Begin with the basics in language your child can understand and build on that through the years as they understand more. Increasing maturity brings increased understanding and emotions.
2. Try to listen for what your child is really asking. If your child asks to call her birth mother, she may really mean, “I want to know more about this person.” That’s an opening. Ask, “What do you think she’d be like? What would you say to her? What do you think she might say to you?”

12. Throw out “pebbles” to invite questions/conversation.

1. “You are such a good artist. You must get that from your birth mom.”
2. “I always think of your birthparents on your birthday. They must be thinking of you, too.”
3. Speak about adoption to your spouse in your child’s hearing.

For additional adoption literature refer to Utah's Adoption Connection Lending Library (also listed on the sidebar of our blog under "Helpful Links".)

Utah Adoption Council Conference

UTAH ADOPTION COUNCIL CONFERENCE
May 11 & May 12, 2011
South Towne Center
Sandy, Utah

Click HERE for Registration Details